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Deviousness `anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More
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Sta.sh
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I like how they say what they say; it makes me feel they're thinking like animals (instead of quadrupedal people). Along those lines, the wording of panel 8 is heartbreaking for me, for some reason..
awesome awesome awesome. I shall have to "kick" you guys some "start"!
The dialogue is a little confusing though. I can remember this passage from the book, and I feel like the dialogue here is a little less fluid. The positioning of speech bubbles and the panels probably plays into that; the three panels at the top right have a wholly ambiguous order and lead the eye to the wrong side of the next row of panels via an overlap, the positioning of the spiky speech bubble is a little confusing (from the reader's perspective, although it's obvious there's a hunt going on, we don't know the animal is actually dead until the next panel,) and you have several ambiguously tailless speech bubbles which are closer to an image of the character who's not speaking than the one who is. The tails on the bubbles are also slightly inflated and overlap the bubble boundary, which is
unprofessional looking. Since the speech bubbles here are digitally added, it's fairly simple to put them in better places, but panel layout can't be corrected that way.
And that's really important here. If this was a webcomic, rad! Perfect! You can learn to panel as you go along, and people will keep following because the story and the art are good. But if you're going to be selling it (and you guys are!) you want the little details to be as good as the big ones.
I wanted to add an updated reply. Your feedback has renewed our discussion on process, with more focus on how to insert the text earlier in the layout, and making sure we consider several related pages at a time. Clare Bell, aka ~rathacat (who is on her way to Furcon) asked me to pass along her appreciation for you critique as well.